What is Codependency?
For a long time, I believed this was simply who I was.
Always giving. Always caring.
Until I realised it wasn’t love — it was survival.
What I share here is not a theoretical explanation.
It’s an invitation to awareness.
So you don’t spend years stuck in something that no longer serves you.
Codependency is not an identity.
It’s an old survival pattern — one you are allowed to rewrite.
What Is Codependency, Truly?
Codependency is far more than just being ‘too caring’ or struggling with boundaries.
It is a deeply ingrained survival mechanism that shapes how you love, how you see yourself, and what you allow in relationships.
What began as a desperate attempt to earn love and approval
has become a pattern imprinted into your nervous system,
your emotions, and your very sense of self.
Recognise Yourself?
✅ You feel responsible for how others feel
✅ You constantly adapt to avoid rejection
✅ You know exactly what others need — but not what you feel
✅ You often doubt yourself and seek external validation
✅ You repeatedly find yourself in unequal or toxic relationships
✅ You struggle to feel or set boundaries
How Does Codependency Begin?
It often starts early in life:
• Growing up in an environment where love felt conditional
• Learning that caring for others was more important than being yourself
• Having your feelings ignored, dismissed, or ridiculed
• Carrying the emotional burdens of your parents
You learned: I must adapt to be loved.
And that survival strategy is still active today.
Why It Feels So Hard to Break Free
Codependency doesn’t live in your mind alone —
It lives in your nervous system and limbic brain:
- Your body equates safety with pleasing others
- Your mind equates love with self-abandonment
- Your identity is intertwined with ‘taking care’ of others
Even when you know something is unhealthy,
letting go can feel like losing yourself.
That’s not weakness — it’s survival.
Why You Keep Falling Back Into Old Patterns
Many people recognise their codependent behaviours…
yet find themselves stuck.
Why?
Because your nervous system doesn’t recognise healthy love —
it feels unfamiliar, unsafe, even boring.
- Your body craves tension
- You are drawn to people who confirm your old story
- Your self-worth feels tied to how much you can give
Why Standard Therapy Often Isn’t Enough
Many therapies focus on setting boundaries, building self-esteem, or ‘letting go’.
But when your nervous system is still wired for adaptation,
‘letting go’ can feel life-threatening.
True healing begins in the body.
In the nervous system. In the energy field.
In feeling what you were once forced to suppress.
Read more about why I work with the nervous system, the body, and energy.
Are You Ready to Reclaim Yourself?
Codependency is not a life sentence.
It is an old way of surviving —
and you have the power to rewrite it.
With the right support.
In your own time.
In your own way.
➤ Explore my 16-Week Deep Recovery Programme
➤ Or book a free consultation
Healing Codependency Takes More Than Insight
You are not your pattern.
You are not your trauma.
But to truly heal, you must see
where you once abandoned yourself.
You were taught that boundaries were dangerous.
That love had to be earned.
That your needs were too much.
Somewhere along the way, you began to believe that this was you.
But it’s not.
Healing begins with coming home to yourself.
With compassion. With truth.
With choosing to live — rather than merely survive.
Explore deeper into your own story:
You are not broken.
You adapted — beautifully, bravely, and wisely — to what once was.
Now, you are allowed to choose a new way.
One rooted in your own truth, your own worth, your own life.
Your journey back to yourself begins with awareness — and continues with compassion.
Step by step. Breath by breath.
You are already on your way.